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There's a basic thing that few people in business talk about. 🤫
It's like the "holy grail" that they don't want to share with others. 😵💫
But what's interesting is that it's not just in business, it's the same in dating... 😳
What is this thing? And how do you get it? 🧐
Well... Ladies and Gentlemen, it's nothing more than: confidence 🔒
And that's what we're going to dive into today, so that you can use it to your advantage... 🏊🏼♂️
But first... 👀
🚀 How's the challenge?
👋🏼 My brother is leaving tomorrow for a year
I just realized this to myself today, that I won't see him for a full year starting tomorrow. He will be studying in the US which is a huge opportunity. But this is when you really appreciate how much time you have spent with your loved ones and how much you would spend if you knew how long you could do it. I've also spent more time in the last 2 weeks meeting him, organizing activities, wakeboarding, etc. He's always been here, but I've taken it for granted that he would stay - at least subconsciously. 🇺🇸
It just goes to show that you only see the true value of things when you "lose" them. 😔
But I don't want to get too sentimental about this post, it's going to be awesome for him and he shouldn't feel sorry. 🤩
🥳 Fun Fact: Stranger Things fans! The university where my brother is going to study, that's where Vecna's house is, that's where they filmed the last season! And if that wasn't enough... Where she'll be living, Will's house is also on that street, with the woods. What a strange coincidence!
🥳 And Fun Fact 2: He hasn't seen the show yet and said he'll watch it there; he'll sit out in the garden during the day and watch the show. I think I wouldn't dare go home at night afterwards. 😄
💜 We are waiting for you with a brand-new Discord Server
The guys have been working on it non-stop for 2 weeks now and I'm happy to report that it has become the most stable server in Hungary. The new server was needed because the previous one was not scalable. So, 100 people could use it, but 10,000 would have been very difficult. 🤯
So, the guys rebuilt the whole thing from scratch! 🛠
Of course, you get your ranks from the previous server here too!
I truly believe that in Hungary THIS is the best place to meet like-minded young people! Everyone is friendly, welcoming and no one looks stupid if you ask questions. 🫂
If you join in the next 3 days, you can even sign up for this month's Challenge for free! 🔥
⚠️ Important: only sign up if you're going to be active, because we will filter inactive members on a monthly basis so that we can really have an active community.
🥊 Hormozi Event - 4th place, now is the time to really push
You have to fight for places, but that's competition! 💪🏼
It's what makes you grow, we got this far with your help, I'd like to ask for the same now. Send your friends the link, sign up with your 2nd email address, let's get this show together! 🙏🏻
Because I guarantee you will learn more about life from this than you did in college. 🧠
I will be curious to see the results. Worked in advance and said he will now be completely unavailable for 1 week, 0 phone, 0 laptop. Just pen, paper and thinking.😲
Brutal results with this method and I look forward to hearing about your experience!🫡
🥳 Fun Fact: There is also a new Documentary Film about this coming to YouTube! One of the most exciting topics among young people these days. We get bombarded with cheap dopamine and lose focus of our goals because of it. That's exactly what we're going to do about in this Document.
Okay, here we go... 🏁
🤨 What exactly is trust?
How can we get into this complex subject without understanding the basics. Since everyone has a different idea of Trust, it is best to lay down some common foundations. 🧱
If I were explaining Trust to a young child, this is how I would do it:
"Trust means that when someone says something, they follow through and you believe them. When you build trust with someone, it's like trying to build a big tower of blocks. Every promise you keep is an extra cube on top of the tower. However, each broken promise can take not just one, but several cubes off the top. This makes the tower very unstable."
Here are a few more examples:
Trust means trusting someone not to tell your secret. 🤫
Or sharing your chocolate with someone and trusting them to hold it another time.🍫
Now that we've got the basics down, we can go a little deeper.
Let's look at what trust means in biological terms:
🧠 The brain and trust: "In our brain we have a certain hormone called "Oxytocin". It's one of the happiness hormones, but it's also sometimes referred to as the hormone of confidence. Because when we produce a lot of this hormone, we feel much closer to others. You know that warm, good feeling when you get your dog or hug a close friend. It's exactly because you're releasing lots of oxytocin in your brain."
Okay and what about psychological factors?
🤝 That certain first impression: 'When we first meet someone, our brain immediately starts thinking about how trustworthy that person is. This was very useful in ancient times, when people would just randomly kill each other on the street over a bad word."
Experiences shape your confidence: "For example, if you touched an iron when you were little and got burnt, you quickly learn that you shouldn't do it again. It's the same with people. Old experiences can easily undermine our trust in certain people. If someone breaks a promise, our brain will remember it and become much more wary of them."
I think that's given us a solid foundation for this topic, it's time to dig into the Why.🧐
And before that...
A small request: if you've enjoyed today's article so far and learned something new from it, I'd be very grateful if you could send it to a friend or simply share it on social media. It would help a lot in getting more people to read my thoughts. Not to mention, you can even get a gift for it!
Thank you! 🧡
💭 Why is trust so important?
Hundreds of things could be listed here, but let's just look at the most common ones:
🤝 Friendships: When friends trust each other 100%, they feel much more comfortable in each other's company because they don't have to pay attention to how they behave or what they say."
🔒 A sense of security: If you trust someone, you feel safe, you know the other party is looking out for you no matter what."
💡 Side note: When I was partying in Italy, there were some interesting faces in the nightclub, but the moment I saw the whole Thai Box team in the place, all my worries went away, because I knew if anything happened, they were there to back me up.
🧘🏼♂️ Peace of mind: If you think about it for a moment, it affects every aspect of life.
🚗 When you buy a car,
❤️🔥 Or flirting at a party,
🤝 Or you're about to close a deal.
💡 Side note: I have my hairdresser there, I think he's the most expensive hairdresser in Eger, but I think he's also the best. I don't go to him because he's the most expensive, I go to him because he's cut my hair so many times well that I trust him 100% not to mess it up. Here, for example, I pay for safety, below the premium price!
Here comes another important quote to understand the safety factor:
"A man is more motivated not to lose something than to gain the same value."
This desire for trust is inherited from evolution, as those who survived in close-knit groups - tribes - are the ones who survived. And close-knit tribes only formed when there was a very strong bond of trust between the members of the tribe. 🛖
📕 Book recommendations: "Evolutionary Psychology" by David M Buss, the most comprehensive read on the subject. The book itself is about $50,000, but for your luck it's summarized upstairs in the BookBase.
It is no coincidence that it has survived to this day among the animals:
🐺 The Wolves and the Pack:'Each member of the pack trusts the other to save his life if anything goes wrong. They hunt together, protect each other and share responsibility. It's probably the strongest bond in the animal kingdom - but I'm not a biologist and that's just my assumption."
If we go forward in history, we find more interesting examples of trust:
🛕 In ancient civilizations: "The Egyptians trusted in the gods. In ancient Egyptian civilizations, the Egyptians trusted God. They believed that if they lived honest and just lives, they would be rewarded in the afterlife."
⚔️ The Middle Ages and the knights: 'In medieval Europe, knights followed strict codes. They pledged to protect the innocent and did their best for them - at least most of them did. A knight who broke the code faced severe punishment."
🏦 Trust in the modern age: "Today we have strict laws and treaties that are like promises on paper. These systems only work if we trust each other. I trust that if someone takes something from me, the police will find it. Or if I put my money in the bank, I can get it back. These systems are all based on trust."
You see, trust is already very firmly ingrained in our brains. 🧠
We've learned over time that if we get involved with someone we don't trust, it can go very badly. 😩
But, if that wasn't enough, let's look at what happens when we are little.
Our parents were always afraid of us. 👩🏼🦳
"Only talk to someone you know!" Ergo, someone you trust!
🥳 Fun Fact: This is my favorite story about trust. My godfather is a big hunk of a man with a good name in the neighborhood. Since he's in farming he owns land. And in the fields, all kinds of people come and go. When I was a kid, I used to spend a week or two there in the summer. One day, an interesting guy rang me up and asked if I had a miniature lawnmower and if I could trade it for something. My godfather thought about it, then brought a huge Hi-Fi for him - home theatre system. Even then I was suspicious and wanted to say it wasn't worth it. But the deal was done, after 2 hours Godfather tried out the mower and after 5 minutes of pushing it around it was a trope, I sadly ran to Godfather to see what had happened. He just looks at me, waves his hand and says: "Relax Krisi, the Hi-fi didn't work either!" Now that's why trust is important!
Whatever you want to achieve in life, you need to build and maintain trust. 💪🏼
Whether it's a relationship, a successful business or just a group of friends, none of it works without trust! 🙏🏻
So, it's time to take a look at the how...
🧐 How do people trust you?
The easiest 3 ways are:
🤝 You keep your promises: 'Whatever you promised the other party, you must keep! That's how you can build trust nicely."
✅ Tell the truth: "Even if it hurts, if you tell the truth, other people will respect you for it and trust you more easily."
🔍 Admit your mistakes: "We are human and we make mistakes. If you have hurt someone or made a mistake, own up to it immediately. Apologize and do everything you can to correct your mistake."
However, I'd be lying if I said that trust is really just a combination of those 3 things. It's much more complex than that, but I'm here to explain it to you in a clear way.✏️
Let's look at the business and dating areas separately.
👨🏼💼 Confidence in business
⚠️ I'll warn you this is going to be a bit advanced and will mainly help those who already have a business, if you don't, no problem, skip to the getting to know you part!😉
A week ago, I started reading Dan Kennedy's book "Trust Based Marketing", in which he talks about exactly how trust is essential in business. 📕
Dan is the most expensive copywriter in the US. I think he has over 10 books that are without exception brilliant. So, I didn't have to look for a better source for this part than the legend himself. 🔒
Dan has broken down the whole topic of trust in business into 9 parts!
He said in a customer's mind these 9 questions turn before they decide whether to buy anything from you. ❓
Is this guy credible? (Credibility)
Is he telling the truth? (Credibility)
Is he knowledgeable and competent? (Professional credibility)
Does he recognize my unique needs? (Relationship building)
Will he listen to me or just try to stonewall me? (Specific needs)
Does he seem trustworthy overall? (Safety)
Do I even understand exactly what he is going to help me with? (Comfort)
Are you sure this is the best solution to my problem? (Superiority)
Am I paying the right price? (Value)
💡 Side note: These are things I need to pay attention to. Because now I know what goes through young people's minds before they try BookBase. I realized that most of the subscribers came when I LIVE-ed it back in the day. Why? Because that's when people trusted me the most, because they saw me there live and saw my reactions.
📕 Book recommendation: "1,000 Real Fans" by Kevin Kelly is a brilliant read on this topic. This is exactly what I'm working on right now to get those 1,000 or maybe 10,000 fans at OM. Of course, it's up in the BookBase!
But the rough thing is, it's not just business...
🧡 Confidence in getting to know each other
At least as important as - and I think even more important than - getting to know someone is trust. 🔒
In short, if girls trust you, you'll have a much easier path to... their hearts. 🙃
There are many ways of gaining trust in dating
🐶 From pictures of puppies,
😔 Through acknowledging your bad qualities
🪨 To rock-solid honesty.
Especially for girls, trust is very important, as they are more physically vulnerable than men, so they have to - or should - be very selective about who they meet. 🔍
The female brain is inscrutable, EXCEPT... 😏
If you ask a woman, you'll get the information you need!
And who would be more authentic for this task than my friend - Kinga. 👩🏽
So, I asked her the question:
What makes girls trust men on a date?
🗣 Honest communication: It's okay if you just want to get to know someone and you don't want a serious commitment, just say so up front. Being honest gives you confidence.
💡Side note: There's the case of Dan Bilzerian, who gets 10 girls a day. He said in an interview that the 1 thing he is very focused on is honesty. "You can lie to your boyfriend, your family, your friends, but not to me." And he reciprocates that to the girls. It's no accident that they trust him so much. He also admits his bad qualities. This suggests that you have self-awareness and are not completely full of yourself.
💪🏼 Own up to your bad qualities: it's an advantage if you don't just polish yourself up, but also tell them about your bad qualities. This suggests that you have self-awareness and are not completely full of yourself.
✅ Be trustworthy: what you promise, you deliver! This goes back to self-confidence, as people who keep their promises to themselves have self-confidence. If you keep them for yourself, you are more likely to keep them for others. Just because someone drives around town in Daddy's car doesn't give them self-confidence, just ego, the two are far from the same!
🙏🏻 Consistent: this means not disappearing randomly in the middle of a conversation. It doesn't mean you're available 0-24 to him, just that you tell him in advance when you're not. I specifically said when we met that we could only talk in the morning or evening, I work during the day and that's a bigger priority for me now.
😌 The way you communicate with others: It's worth looking at how you behave with waiters, salespeople and the like. It tells you a lot.
"A person's value can be easily deduced by how he communicates with people who add nothing of direct value to his life."
❌ He doesn't berate others: he doesn't want to tear others down, but focuses on his own life. To quote Gary Vee:
"There are two ways to build the greatest thing. One, you focus on making yours the greatest and build it, or you destroy everyone else's so that yours remains the greatest. You be first!"
💭 Not mourning about the past: but looking forward, accepting and improving so that the same bad thing doesn't happen again.
🏆 Have results: in any area of life, be it sports, business, etc. It means that you are committed and able to work long hours on something that is important to you.
Thanks to Kinga for telling us this, I think we have a checklist for gaining women's confidence. However, I especially ask you to use it ONLY ETHICALLY! 🙏🏻
The message of it all is to NOT only appear to be trustworthy, but to REALLY be trustworthy! 💪🏼
And one important thing that I realized about 2-3 years ago:
"Until you trust yourself, no one else will!"
Instead of a checklist, I've now come up with a more important part. This post wouldn't be complete if I just showed you how to build trust. Because, more importantly, how to keep it! 🫴🏼
So, let's see...
✅ What do you do to maintain Trust?
Warren Buffett has the famous quote:
"It takes 20 years to build a tight trust and only 5 minutes to destroy it. Once you understand that, you will do things differently."
There will be some obvious ones, among those I'm about to list. However, just because it's obvious doesn't mean everyone does it that way. 👀
"Common sense is not that common." ~ Voltaire
📝 So here is the list:
[ ] Keep your promises, there's no better way to earn trust. 🤙🏼
[ ] Be honest and don't bullshit about anything, even if it hurts, tell people, they will respect you for it. If you're unsure about something or it bothers you, talk about it. Sharing your feelings and thoughts will help avoid misunderstandings. ✅
[ ] Be consistent, if you are predictable, people will trust you more. 🔒
"Just as brushing your teeth every day makes your teeth healthier, everyday reliability makes your relationships stronger."
[ ] Have integrity - show yourself for who you are, don't talk down to others, have values and stick to them. Don't gossip about others - if you don't dare say it to their face, don't say it behind their back. ❌
[ ] Tell the "why", don't tell people about things, tell them exactly why you want to do it, so people will know that you're really not hiding anything. ❓
[ ] Feel free to point out your weaknesses, admitting these bad qualities will gain you more trust. Because they can see that you weren't faking it either, you weren't trying to make yourself look good. 👀
[ ] Own up to your mistakes, be accountable. It's okay if you've done something wrong, just own up to it right away. That way you'll be trustworthy! ✋🏼
[ ] Respect other people and sooner or later they will respect you. 🙏🏻
[ ] Stay calm under pressure, it shows confidence and you know that if you trust yourself, others will too. 🥶
[ ] Draw your boundaries and respect those of others. Everyone has topics they don't like to talk about or things they don't like to do. If you respect these, they will like your company. 👣
It's a slightly different post than the others, but I hope it can help you have better relationships with people!
Confidence and reputation are something you can't buy for yourself! 😌
You have to work at it day in and day out and if you do, sooner or later you will see the uplifting results of your work. 🫵🏼
🔥 Challenge
If you look at the numbers from the beginning of the year and now, you can rightly be disappointed, because in 6 months, we've barely risen anything. 😕
However, sometimes the numbers really are deceiving. The subscriber base itself has not improved, but the underlying technology and system has. And I honestly believe that this will sooner or later show up in the subscriber numbers! 📈
Right now, we want to improve things that are scalable. For example, if we improve 1% on Trial conversion - how many people subscribe after a Trial. Then it's 1% for 100 people, but 1% for 10,000 people. That's how we can really prepare for Scaling. 🚀
That's the kind of areas we'll be working on:
👋🏼 Onboarding
🔒 The Paywall
📨 And the referral system
If you have any ideas on how to improve any of these, please let me know here in comments or on my Instagram. ✏️
📖 What have I just read?
It's no big surprise when I say I read Dan Kennedy's "Trust Based Marketing". It's a brilliant book, just a bit too much rice. 📕
So, right now I'm working on how to get the gist out of it in the quickest time possible.
🎧 What have I just listened to?
I was listening to The Knowledge Project Podcast - A 2017 Naval Ravikant broadcast. 🧠
It was interesting to hear how much Naval Ravikant loves to read and also that whenever he is bored, he reads. 📖
However, he doesn't read books anymore because he feels there is a lot of rice - the unnecessary stuff - in them. He says the point of 90% of books can be summed up in 1-2 pages. The idea of the BookBase is not a coincidence, but I am especially glad that such a smart person has confirmed it. 🙏🏻
I'm only halfway through, but I've gotten a lot of book recommendations from it! And, strangely enough, I'm surprised that about 80% of them are up on BookBase. 😉
✍🏼 Top quote
"Trust is fragile, don't break it, it will never be the same." ~ Unknown
