🚀 What can you do about Overthinking?
This was suggested by a prominent Psychologist...
👆🏼You can listen here 🎧
⏳ Current status
📧 Email subscribers: 40.017 / 100.000
👥 Active users: 1.573
📝 New Developments: backend development for the team ⚙️
⏰ This is how long it took to write: 8 hours 23 minutes
Got that situation where you're constantly thinking about one thing? 🤔
You just couldn't get it out of your head... 🤯
It was always there, stressing you out non-stop. 😓
But was the thought itself so terrifying or did you make it so?! 🧐
Well, that's what we're here to find out... 🕵🏼♂️
But before we dive in, let's see... 👀
🚀 How's the challenge going?
🥈 We are 2nd in the Hormozi’s event!
It's mind-boggling to even describe that we are ranked 2nd in the world. This shows how strong our community is compared to the rest! 💪🏼
I am very grateful to you and first place is not far away! 🏆
If we get the first place, we will give you a special presentation. Alex Hormozi and Kristóf Szabó, will be very honored! 👥
So, invite 1-2 more friends, I promise you won't regret it! 📨
If you don't know what it's all about, I'll explain it quickly. 🗣
Alex Hormozi - US mentor - is hosting a free online event on starting a business on 19th August and who can invite the most people. Hormozi will be holding a personal call that his audience - that's YOU - can listen to!
🗓 19 August - 18:00
🔴 Go online
🎟 Free, but registration required❌ You do NOT have to provide your phone number
🇩🇪 The boys have arrived in Berlin
The WeAreDevelopers World Congress has started! The cream of the programming world gathers here. It's like a Tomorrowland for programmers only! 👨🏽💻
I dare not imagine how much new stuff they can learn! 🤓
Lectures by people who are the creators of programming languages, who invented the Internet, etc. 🎙
🎞 The new Documentary is coming
If all goes well, the new Documentary that Geri and I have spent hundreds of hours on will arrive ON SATURDAY. I'd like to add that he deserves all the credit, because without him it wouldn't be nearly as good! 💼
This one will be about whether money can buy happiness. (HUN) 🤔
🔥 Out with the new Update
I understand that this already includes the much-anticipated Streak system and you should be receiving notifications soon to get into the habit faster! ⏳
We've been working hard on this! This was probably the most serious feature we spent the most time on so far. It's possible that there are still bugs, but please let us know if you find any and we'll look at it right away! 🛠
In the meantime, enjoy the NEW STREAK SYSTEM! 📅
🎥 I have posted a Vlog on TikTok
It's still pretty rudimentary, but I thought I'd start Vlogging our journey there too, in case you can learn a bit from it. I'll try to make the story as personal as possible. 👀
You can watch the first video here: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJqmRpyS/
Okay, now we can start! 🚀
💭 Why do people overthink things?
Let's start at the beginning! 🌱
What is overthinking? 🧠
In official terms, it means this:
"When you keep thinking or worrying about the same thing."
Reading this, you might be thinking that it's not so bad. 🤔
But the answer is deceptive. 🐍
Because you keep thinking about the same thing, it's completely paralyzing and incapacitating. 🤷🏼♂️
You've gone over it in your head so many times, come up with so many possible outcomes, that you don't know which one would be the best and it makes you freeze up. ❄️
In science, this is called - Analysis Paralysis 🎓
I know, not the clearest word, so I'll explain:
Analysis Paralysis:
"A state of overanalyzing a situation. It's the essence of overthinking and becoming indecisive."
💡 Side note: The reason I explain things like this is because I've learned that the basis of good writing is understanding. You can write well when other people can easily understand and follow what you are saying. It's best if you try to write to a 5th grader and explain every word he probably wouldn't understand. This does not mean that I am putting you at a 5th grade level, but rather that a 5th grader can understand my ideas perfectly. And why complicate things anyway!
Okay, let's move on, now we know what it means and why it is harmful. 🏃🏼♂️
But we still have no idea...
What could cause this? 🕵🏼♂️
"In the majority of cases, overthinking is caused by: fear, trauma, striving for perfection, or dread of unpredictable events."
Since ancient times, we have been hardwired to fear the unknown.
It has helped us to survive. 🦁
But before we get into how to overcome Overthinking...
I'll give you some examples so that everyone can really recognize it! 🔍
💕 In a relationship
Overthinking can happen a lot in a relationship.
Just like a wrong sentence,
A misunderstood encounter,
A story half told.
They all lead to overthinking. 💔
Does he no longer love me? 💭
Must he have met someone else? 🤔
Why didn't you tell me? 🤷🏼♂️
And it just goes on and on.
It usually stems from a past event. 🔄
For example, if you've been cheated on once, you're much more aware of those signs and tend to overthink it. 💔
Or it could be a simple lack of self-confidence. You don't trust yourself and you're afraid that soon no one else will trust you and they'll look for someone else. 😔
In an older relationship - when I was about 18 - I overthought a lot of things because I didn't have enough confidence. I was afraid that others would notice and eventually leave me. It was a horrible feeling at the time, so I know what it's like to 2be in those shoes”. 👟
In retrospect, it made absolutely no sense and I would have been much, much better off if I had taken the path of self-improvement instead of worrying so much. It would have been better to focus on preventing the problem. 🧘🏼♂️
But, well, you get wise later... 🎓
📕 Book recommendations: Douglas Stone's book "Difficult Conversations" can also help here. It looks at the importance of having "awkward" conversations in life and how we can make it so that we are not afraid to bring up the things that bother us. You can find it in BookBase!
You may also...
🚀 At Shop
It's pretty common here too, although it depends a lot on the person.
It's more a fear of the unpredictable.
What if I don't have any customers? 😱
What if my competitor is better? 😰
What if my product has a flaw? 😒
We fear things that we cannot predict.
We get our brains to think about it and find answers, but it's an impossible mission. We get deeper and deeper and there are fewer and fewer things we can be sure of.🌀
I experienced this when I started my website building business and had a very hard time getting clients at first. I was afraid of failure, of the unpredictable and what others would think of me. 💼
Looking back, I had the same problem, I didn't trust myself enough. I didn't believe I could actually do it. And how stupid I was... 🤦🏼♂️
The tough thing is that 19-year-old Kristóf Szabó dreamed of much less than what 26-year-old Kristóf Szabó had. I think that if I could have shown my old self what kind of life I'm living now - he would have cried and would have been very relieved. 🌈
And for some people that can happen...
🥗 In good health too
💡 Side note: I've never understood why the salad emoji reflects health and why they haven't created a better emoji for it. Anyway...
For those who overthink their health problems, there is a name for it. 🤒
Hypochondriacs:
Hypochondria is a type of mental disorder in which an individual is obsessively preoccupied with his or her own health and obsessively looking for signs of illness.
I know this because my parents called me this a lot when I was 10 years old. 👪
I'm starting this from a bit further away. When I was in kindergarten, I was a pretty bad kid. Typical all spoons kid. And lo and behold, something always happened to me. I cut my knee, got a plastic rake stuck in my head, got a nosebleed, etc. 🤕
As a kid I didn't care about any of that, I just wanted to keep playing. 🧸
However, the kindergarten teachers, my parents and grandparents were always very frightened by these things. And so, it was fixed in me, "huh, there's a big problem here". 😨
So later, when I got older, I was suddenly scared of every little thing that happened to me. If I cut my finger, hit my shin on something, etc. My mom and I went to the ER every quarter. 🏥
Then luckily, I got rid of that by the time I was about 14-15. I saw that other people had much bigger problems and didn't care half as much. For example, my grandmother scalded her hand really badly and said:
👵🏼: "It's all right, it'll get better."
That became my motto from then on. 💪🏼
This is not to say that you shouldn't be careful and not go to the doctor. I'm just saying to reassess your thoughts, to see if it's possible that you're just overthinking the whole thing. 💭
📕 Book recommendation: an outstanding book on this subject is "How Not to Die" by Michael Greger, the title alone is sufficiently sarcastic. But it brilliantly circumnavigates the subject of health! I really can only recommend it, 31 minutes in BookBase!
Before we go any further...
A small request: if you've enjoyed today's article so far and learned something new from it, I'd be very grateful if you could send it to a friend or simply share it on social media. It would help a lot in getting more people to read my thoughts. Not to mention, you can even get a gift for it!
Thank you! 🧡
🧐 How do you beat it?
It all comes down to realizing that you're overthinking something in the first place.✅
The next step is to look at what might be causing it? 💡
Self-doubt? 💔
Fear? 😱
Fear of the unknown? 👻
etc.
Once you recognize what it is, you can take away its scary character. Because you already know what you're up against. 🕵🏼♂️
Next, you're looking for a solution! 💡
I read recently that if you can find 2 solutions to a problem. It is worth choosing the older one, as it is already proven. Therefore, it is best to go back to the ancient sages... 🧙🏼♂️
To Stoicism! 💭
📕 Book recommendations: Tim Ferris - "Stoicism" should be a good introduction for those interested in Philosophy. You can also find it in BookBase!
Stoics have always asked one question:
"What am I influenced by?"
That question, so stuck with me, that I've used it ever since. Whenever I overthink something, that question - instantly sets me right. 👌🏼
Here's a current example:
Admissions are here anyway, and the cutoffs were announced on Wednesday. A lot of people were anxious about whether they would get in, whether they would get in, etc. 📚
Let's see, what do you have an impact on here? 🤔
To get as many points as possible on your final exam! Did you do everything you could to get the most points? 🎯
I think - Yes! 👍🏼
Do you have any influence on how much the score will be?
No, because you don't decide that! 🙅🏽♂️
So, in this case, you don't need to worry because you would be worrying about something that is out of your control. All you have to do is do your own thing to the best of your ability. 💪🏼
Or another personal example. 🗣️
One would dread to think whether we will have 2,500 subscribers by October when we are only around 1,570. But how many subscribe is not up to us. 😰
But getting the most value and the best app is up to us! 💡
So, we need to focus on that too. 🎯
Do you get it? 🤷🏽♂️
Don't be anxious about the future, take control of it!
📕 Book recommendation: one of my favorite books by Ryan Holiday - "The Obstacle Is the Way", I read this back in Italy and it was a huge influence for me to finally take control of my destiny! It's also up in BookBase!
But you can also borrow a reflection from the American fighter pilots. 🛩️
They are the soldiers who are really up for anything. Whatever mission they go on, they only ever have to be prepared for 3 contingencies. 🌟
But for those three very much! 🎯
We are:
Worst that can happen,
Best that can happen,
and Most Likely to Happen,
With these 3 contingencies, they will be better prepared than 90% of the average person. 💭
And it's not that hard to think it through. 👌🏼
So, you can apply it any time! 🔄
For me, these 2 have helped me the most so far, in overcoming my negative thoughts and bringing myself back to the present. 🗡
However, we're not all the same, so I've brought you some tips that can help you as well:
🧘🏼♂️ 1. Meditation
It helps to quiet your mind and focus on the "NOW". You don't need to meditate for hours to get the positive effects. 10-15 minutes a day is plenty.
I'd be lying if I said it was easy, as I've been falling behind on this good habit of the last few days. But it is 100% worth it! 💯
I used to use the Headspace App, but now I decided to open up to other options. I came across a pretty decent Meditation on YouTube and have been listening to it for a few days now. 🎧
I'm linking it here for you! The Indians really are the best at this! 😉
💪🏼 2. Training
It also helps a lot to get your mind off things. I like to go to the gym because I can shut out my thoughts and just focus on lifting weights. 🏋️♀️
It's interesting to say this, but my thoughts tend to come together best after workouts. Because they have time to rest and digest in my brain. 🧠
If you find yourself stressing about something, go to the gym to work out or do martial arts. I can't think of another activity that will distract you from your problems more than martial arts. Because there you have to keep your eye on not getting hit. 🥊
If you're not paying attention... well you'll get hit on the chin and soon you'll be paying attention. If you don't want to get beat up. 😅
It's important to remember though, that this doesn't always solve your problem, it just takes your mind off it. However, as long as it distracts you, your brain can work on it subconsciously and may find a solution by the end of the workout. 🕰️
⏰ 3. Time limit
It's okay to think about something a lot, just give it a limit to how much time it can think about it. For example, 1 hour. ⏳
You think about it for 1 hour and write out what you've come up with, then put it aside and move on to something else. That way your brain can wrap it up more easily. 📝
At least it has worked for me a few times! ✅
🗣 4. Talk to others about it
They can give you a new perspective. Often you are so involved in your problem that you can't really see it. Whereas, if you tell someone else about it, they will meet it for the first time and give you a new perspective that you hadn't thought of! 👁
Or, if you've encountered the same problem, he can give you advice on how to solve it. 👥
However, please be careful with advice! ⚠️
"Only take advice from someone who has been where you are going."
📓 5. Diary writing
By far the best for this, so far. I have been writing my diary for almost 2 - or maybe 3 - years now. Every day! 🖊️
Not a day missed! ✅
And it helps me a lot to write out my thoughts. Because, from the moment I write it down on a piece of paper, it's already out in the physical world and I can examine it much better! 🕵🏼♂️
Diary writing has taught me so much, from perseverance, to positive thinking, to responsibility. However, that alone might be worth a post. 📚
What to write about in your diary? 🧐
It's entirely up to you!
But I have brought some leading questions:
What was good about your day?
What was bad?
Who was nice to you?
Who were you nice to?
How could you improve yourself?
A diary is really effective - and I've only just started doing this, unfortunately - if you look back from time to time at what you've written. It's good to read back the previous 2 months at the end of each month. Why? 🤔
The answer is simple! 😉
To identify trends, how your mood has changed, what obstacles you've faced, what results you've achieved. That's how you really see the big picture. 📈
Now if I were to use a good analogy, I would say:
"Your diary, the BookBase of your life."
Because you can relive it all in a nutshell! 🤏🏼
And finally, the last one... 🏁
👩🏼⚕️ 6. Psychologist
I recommend this for this problem only in extreme cases. ⚠️
I wrote extreme case because I think this can be solved with the above tips.
However, it's very important to note that a psychologist is not bad at all! 🙏🏻
In fact, it can help a lot even for a mentally strong person. I think I will be seeing one in the near future. 😉
Because what have I got to lose!! 💭
But, in order to share not only my experiences and to be objective enough for this Post, I actually visited a psychologist, and not just any psychologist. 👩🏼⚕️
Fuller Bianka, you may have seen her on TikTok. Probably one of the best-known Psychologists among young people. 😲
So, I asked him what suggestions he had against overthinking:
1. Distraction
Simple, yet often very difficult task, but it helps a lot if you find out from time to time that you can distract yourself if you want to. It helps if you have a specific tool for such occasions, which engages as many of your senses and brain capacity as possible. This could be the 5-sense technique, or mental games such as starting to list country names in alphabetical order, but it also helps a lot if you call someone on the phone and start talking about something completely different.
2. Thought stop
When you feel yourself starting to overthink, simply say stop, out loud. You can also use your imagination and imagine a big red stop sign or even a busy road where all the cars suddenly stop.
3. Worry minutes
Once you've managed to stop overthinking, make a plan. Set aside a time in your day when you will give yourself space to worry. For example, every night you have 10 minutes to do this. So, when you find yourself worrying during the day, remind yourself that now is not the time.
The important thing with both methods, the mind-stop and the worrying minutes, is that if you feel that this alone is not enough to distract you, find an alternative activity to occupy your thoughts. For example, watch a video, or start reading an article, or call someone on the phone, or start observing your surroundings, etc. Really anything is possible, and it's also an exercise for you now to figure out what will help you.
4. Put it on paper
When the anxious thoughts come, take a notebook and start writing them down. Or, if it's more convenient, have your phone's note-taking feature always handy. By writing them down, you'll regain control and they won't seem so overwhelming.
💡 Side note: I've had similar results with journal writing.
5. Exchange of questions
Overthinking often starts with "what if" questions, but there is never really a constructive answer, and we never even get to the point of thinking about the answer. So, stop at one of these "what if" questions and start making an action plan, really, what if the thing happens, what can you do in that case. However, you can also do a reality check and think about what the chances are of that thing actually happening before you make your action plan.
💡Side note: And this is very similar to the plans of the American fighter pilots.
Thanks again Bianka for writing this down!
And here is a video (HUN) summarizing for us what can be done about overthinking.
I know it got a bit chunky towards the end, but I'm a firm believer that when I write something, I want to write the best! That's why I'm putting all the knowledge I have into it somehow. 📚
Time to get my thoughts in order! 💡
Let's see...
✅ What exactly do you do?
[ ] First, recognize that you are overthinking something. This is the basis of everything! 🧠
[ ] Step two, write down what is in your remit and what is not. 📝
[ ] Step three, look at the Best, Worst and Most Likely to Happen. 🔍
[ ] Step Four, focus on the things you have control over. 👁
[ ] Step Five, if that doesn't solve it, try the tips above - exercise, journal writing, thought stopping, etc. 📓
[ ] Step six, if that doesn't work either, feel free to see a psychologist, I promise they will help! 👩🏼⚕️
I sincerely hope I've helped you with this post and that you'll think less about everything from now on. 🙏🏻
If so, please just leave a comment saying it helped and it will be good feedback for ME too! ✏️
🔥 Challenge
I met two Challenges this week. 👀
One was to successfully organize our first offline event - of this caliber. There's a lot to do, but it's almost time to book your tickets! 🎟️
However, please DON'T procrastinate as over 700 people have voted and there will only be 100 places. BookBase members first! 👥
The other is to test the marketing channels already selected. The problem is that we can't move forward with this until the tracking system is ready. That can show how many subscribers a certain ad has generated. 💼
This is what is most important now! Critical rating! ❗️
Hope Edu can keep up with it during the Berlin events. 🇩🇪
Edu, if you're reading this - RED CODE 🚨
📖 What am I reading now?
I finished Ca$hvertising and added 22 to-dos to my to-do list. If we do these 22 things, we will have successfully incorporated the knowledge of the book, BookBase. ✅
However, this is typically the kind of book that can only be truly incorporated with practice. So, I'm going to write myself a little sheet with the key points on it. That way, it will always be with me when I'm writing some marketing material. 📚
I'm re-reading Hormozi's book $100 Million Offers.
I'm sure it will be new and can help a lot with Conversion Optimization - ergo, getting more subscribers. 📈
We will try to put together a "World Champion Offer". The goal is to have an offer so good that it literally makes anyone who doesn't at least try it feel stupid. 🏆
🎧 What have I just listened to?
I was finally in Philosophy class again. We talked about incredibly useful things and I felt I was literally thirsting for wisdom. 🦉
This time it was mostly about knowing oneself. And that we cannot be fulfilled until we know ourselves. A very exciting idea! 💡
In the meantime, I also read "Letters from a Stoic" by Seneca, which is one of my favorite Stoic works. 💌
And there was one thought that really struck me: "Praise in man that which cannot be taken from him and cannot be given to him by another. A man may have a big house, a lot, servants, but that does not mean that there is nothing in him but around him."
📕 Book recommendation: Seneca - Letters from a Stoic, perhaps one of the best Stoic works. There's a sneak peek above in BookBase, but it's really a book that's worth reading in its entirety. Not an easy read, I might add, but worth it.
Another is from the Bible - the story of King Solomon.
I haven't read the Bible yet and this is a big backlog. But in my defense, I have read almost all of "Conversations with God". It is a beautiful read and completely irreligious. Muslim, Christian, Hindu, anyone can read it and understand it. 📖
But back to King Solomon. God came down to Solomon in his sleep and spoke to him, saying, "Whatever you ask, I will give it to you. Do you want money? I will give it to you! A great kingdom? I will give you that too!" But Solomon asked him for wisdom... God gave it to him. Then Solomon got the money and the great kingdom. 👑
The point of the story is: get the knowledge first and then the rest will come! 🧠
✍🏼 Top quote
"A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about, except thoughts. So he loses touch with reality and lives in a life of illusion." ~ Alan Watts
💡Side note: This is one of my favorite quotes!