🚀 Optimist vs. Realist vs. Pessimist

So, which is the best?

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Are you afraid of being too pessimistic, optimistic or even realistic?

Can't find the balance between optimism and reality?

Or did you think you could only live your life as an optimist?

Then this article will help you answer your questions and set you on a path to find your own perspective!

Before we get started, let's look at...

🚀 How's the challenge going?

🐋 I'm always impressed by Kokesz's creativity

On Monday we held a brainstorming session on how to redesign the invitation system. Because so far only a few people have invited their friends and we want to change that. 🤝

There are several benefits to having your friends use the App too:

1. You grow together, so no one is left behind 💪🏼

2. You're motivated by each other 🔥

3. You have someone to hold you accountable when you're not reading 🫵🏼

So useful, now we just needed to figure out how to make it happen.

One way is to make the App better and fix the bugs that Edu is working on.

The other is to make an offer you can't refuse and make it infinitely easier to invite you. Now that's what we're working on with Kokesz! 🛠

And Kokesz has a brutal idea:

• Let's make a free course video teaching you the art of the sale from A-Z and how to convince your friend to use BookBase. 🎥

  • The key is to make your free video better than other people's paid course! That's the goal! 🙏🏻

• Not by the way, they would both get huge rewards for it. 🎁

  • Your friend would get 4 extra bonuses that can only be earned this way, and he would get a course worth 20,000 HUF for his first time. After that, they would get bigger and bigger rewards per invitation.

True, it's not a one-week exercise, but, if we can do it, we can be sure that significantly more people will invite their friend. And more people will grow together! 🚀

✈️ Bögszi came home

Some of you know that Bögszi spent the summer in America with the Camp Leaders programme. He came home with some brutal experiences, which he will report on the team trip. 🇺🇸

By the way, he has already written that he has started to shorten the new books. He was already in withdrawal, so he quickly got started.

Which will now be the focus:

• 📕 $100 Million Offers - Alex Hormozi

• 📕 $100 Million Leads - Alex Hormozi

Thanks again Bögszi for being so dedicated and getting started already.

Welcome back home! 👋🏼

📍 200-person event

On Monday I had a call with Bogi and Joci, with whom I organized the previous event. We analyzed the good and the things that could be improved and drew conclusions. ☎️

Brutally enjoyed by all and exceeded our expectations.

So, we dreamed big and we want to organize an event for 200 people for you in November. It will be in Pest for sure, but no location yet, no exact date, just a dream that we will make come true! 🥹

Tickets for the last event sold out in 48 hours and we had 40% more applicants than we could take. 🤯

So, I'm already putting up a waiting list for you to sign up to if you want to come.🤝

(This is NOT a commitment, just a sign that you are interested and would like to come)

Ok, now we can get started! 🏁

💭 Why is this topic holding so many people back?

Perhaps the biggest problem is that many people are at the extremes and stigmatize themselves with different signs. For example, "I'm an optimist" or "I'm Realistic". 🏷

These people don't think about the fact that it's all a scale and our perception (Optimistic, Realistic, Pessimistic) can change when we see different life situations.

It's hard to believe at first, but there are good and bad sides to each perception. Yes, there is a bad side to being an optimist and a good side to being a pessimist. We will go through them in a moment! 🤨

Let's look at the bad aspects first, so we can filter them out later. 🔍

1. The "too positive" perception ☺️

Basically, you could say that being an optimist is a good thing. I particularly like to spend time with Optimistic people because they have a good vibe (or, to put it in more spiritual terms, they give off good energy). 🙏🏻

The problem though is when it turns into excessive optimism. When you see only the good in everything and ignore the bad/dangerous things. 🫠

Or, when you think that everything will turn out for the best BUT you do nothing - or very little - and expect a miracle! Which doesn't always come...

Think about it, if you've never been able to run a marathon before, an over-optimist would take it as, "I've failed so many times that I have to succeed this time." But you don't practice for another hour. 🙄

2. The "too negative" perception 😩

I don't think this really needs explaining. I can honestly say that I don't like spending time with people who are pessimistic for long. My dad used to be very pessimistic and I didn't even like to talk business with him, then he started to shape up and thankfully changed his outlook - now I would say more of a realist - lo and behold I talk business with him more. 👨🏽

The example of the marathon would be taken by the overly pessimistic as "I've never succeeded before, why should I succeed now?!" 😒

However, there is an interesting thing about pessimists that can even work to our advantage. Rarely, but I also surround myself with 1-2 pessimistic people - for a short period of time. In the next part I will explain WHY!

3. The "too realistic" perception 😐

The problem with this is that you can only imagine what you see or have seen. It limits your thinking and your creativity. The over-realist can also limit his own abilities, as he can only draw on past experiences.

He would take the example of the marathon as "I haven't made it so far, there's very little chance that I will now." 🫤

Now that we've looked at the extremes, it's time to look at the positives of each view and create our own perception of them! 🛠

🧐 How to do it right?

It's important to note at the outset, I am not a Psychologist who has been researching this topic for decades, I don't have concrete numerical statistics on the results and I don't claim that this is the only right way! ⚠️

I just want to share with you what has worked for ME!

What I've been taught by thousands of people I've talked to and what I've seen the positive effects of in real life. 🙏🏻

So, feel free to challenge yourself with what I say. Use this as a guide to get you started on your journey. It might work the same for you, but it might also work completely differently! The tool is in your hands to shape your own view! 🧰

So...

I have noticed over the years that none of the perceptions are wrong and none of them are right! ❌

They all have good and bad sides! Our job is to try to mix the good and leave the bad.🧪

So, we will be Optimists, Realists and Pessimists at the same time. It just doesn't matter WHEN! 🧐

💡 Side note: If you mix these up in time, it can turn the whole thing upside down. So, understand how it works first before you experiment with it.

1. When should we be Optimistic? ☺️

Something I've read a lot about and it's worked for me too, which is to be LONG-TERM Optimistic. So, I am positive about my long-term goals and I know - with hard work - I can achieve them! However far away they may seem! 🎯

Being a long-term Optimist gives me a basic positivity in my life.

Example: I am absolutely sure that the guys and I will reach 10.000 BookBase members, I just don't know when! But I have NEVER questioned that in myself! 💪🏼

2. When should we become Realists?

In the medium and short term, it pays to be a Realist. It's a way of shedding the bad Optimistic traits, so that we might lull ourselves into false notions of "it will work out".

We have to be realistic about where we are and admit when things don't go as we imagined. This clarity of vision will help us to make changes when necessary! 👁

Example: The BookBase is a brilliant idea because young people download it, but it is bad enough that "all young people" don't pay 4.000 HUF for it. I can honestly say that this is very bad to write down, because I know how much work the guys and I put into it. But by saying it, this is how we can change it: fix the bugs, make it faster and more convenient! 📲

I specifically said this on one of the team calls that really stuck with me:

"The app is good enough because it gets downloaded, but it's sh*tty enough that "the masses" don't pay for it."

💡 Side note: I have to note that we are quite critical of ourselves and that's why we put it this way, the App is still by far the best Hungarian self-development app on the market! Only, we measure ourselves against other standards!

3. When should we be Pessimists? 😩

Yes, here many of you may look at me funny and wonder, is Kristóf completely normal? Or has something gone wrong with him? 🤨

I'll explain in a moment and then hopefully this illusion about me will disappear. 😶‍🌫️

If I'm in a tight time or in a situation where it's particularly difficult to accomplish something, I will - for a short while - but surround myself with 1-2 pessimistic people. Typically, it's a coffee meeting where I explain how bad my situation is. They reassure me that, yes, there is no way out of this, it's over.

And that's what gives me strength. 💪🏼

Because they turn on the "I'll show them just for that!" and "I have to work even harder to achieve my goal" modes.

My brain gets a sobering slap in the face that if I keep this up, I'm really not going to make it. 🫱🏼

I have 2 options:

1. I don't change anything, I fail, and I agree with my pessimistic acquaintances - which I hate to do.

2. I take it even more seriously, change my strategy, reach my goal and show myself and them that I did it!

Example: They told me straight away that it was impossible, that I should stop, next year. This sobered me up and pissed me off so much that I started and finished it in 2 days. 🧠

💡 Side note: Again, I highlight, I only do this at times when time is tight or I have to perform very seriously, I do it for short periods of time and I do it to sober me up. I DON'T recommend spending long periods of time with pessimistic people because they are really depressing, they drain your energy and push you into a deep pit that is hard to get out of.

If you look a little closer, I'm neither, yet I'm a little of each. Most of the time I am an optimist, but I also have the other perceptions. 🧐

And that's perfectly normal!

I look at these views, what is positive for me, what is useful and I use them. What I don't like, I let go!

Maybe Beton Hofi has a rhyme that:

"I belong to all the table fellows and none of them."

Well, I'm a bit like that with these perceptions!

However, what is interesting in my personal view is that it is very similar to that of the American fighter pilots. I don't know if you remember it, but in an older post I explained how they combat overthinking. 🪖

It briefly said:

They are the soldiers who are really prepared for everything IS. Whatever deployment they go on, they only have to be prepared for 3 contingencies. 🌟

But for those three very much! 🎯

We are:

• Worst that can happen - Pessimistic

• Best that can happen - Optimistic

• and most likely to happen - Realistic

In short, with these 3 eventualities, you will be more prepared than 90% of the average person. 💭

Okay, let's see...

✅ How to incorporate this into your life?

[ ] First step, simply examine yourself, which group do you fall into most of the time (Optimist, Realist, Pessimist) 🔍

[ ] Step two, write a list of what this has helped you do in your life so far? So why is it worth it for you to maintain this view? 📝

[ ] Step three, write a list of what has set you back? So, what part of this view should you abandon? 🚫

[ ] Step four, based on the list above - which I have written - try to create your own vision and what you want to use when. 🤔

[ ] Step five - and this will be the hardest - go out into the world with your eyes open and apply your new views at the RIGHT time. It takes time to change an ingrained view! But, if you persistently practice your new view and keep reminding yourself of it, sooner or later your brain will adopt it and it will become the default! 👁

💡 Side note: David M Buss, is in the Top 10 most cited psychologists in the world. He said that you can change your thinking easily until the age of 25. After 25, you can only achieve rapid change through massive trauma. A typical case is when your girlfriend breaks up with you and you start to change. Now that was because of the massive trauma you went through. That's not to say that my readers over 25 can't change - I change every day - I just want to point out that if you're under 25, you're off to a huge start! It's no coincidence that "Evolutionary Psychology - David M Buss" is one of the most read books in the BookBase.

I can honestly say it was a topic I struggled a lot to write down. After all, I didn't want anyone to misunderstand and blindly start being pessimistic or optimistic. I hope I have managed to put it in a way that conveys the essence of this vision and sets you on a path to create your own. 🙏🏻

Anyway, thanks for reading!

🔥 Biggest obstacle

The biggest challenge last week was to prioritize tasks. Well, we did that, now we just need to get through them. The problem is that Edu got such a list:

Fix It Friday, or FiF for short, means that every Friday we focus on fixing bugs. Nothing else, just this! 👷🏼‍♂️

Edu really liked it because it meant he "only" had to focus on 1 thing and he was in full Flow. And I really liked it too, because the list of Bugs started to decrease rapidly!

So, we will keep this good habit and keep grinding the list!

If you find any Bugs, please let us know on Instagram (@onlinemarketinges.co) and attach a screenshot or video!

📖 What have I just read?

• Back in the day, Jared Schreiber recommended this book to me at the Future Founders Club event. The book is "The Hard Things About Hard Things" by Ben Horowitz. 📓

  • I listened to it for the first time at the BookBase and liked it so much that I bought it in English. Typically, an "overly realistic" book, but that's also its beauty. 🎧

  • In black and white she tells us how much the business sucks and what she has learned along the way. What failures he's had, how big of a slap in the face he's taken, etc. We can literally learn from his mistakes. I can honestly say it's not a beginner book because it also talks about how to hire a CEO or how to fire people. But it can be useful for a small to medium sized business.

🥳 Fun Fact: Ben wrote almost the same point of view as I did in this article, leaving out only the pessimists.

🎧 What have I just listened to?

• On Monday I was in philosophy class again and finally my favorite subject came up. Stoicism!

  • I was looking forward to this topic since the beginning of the course and - how can I say - it did not disappoint! I learned a lot of new things about Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius.

  • For example, you knew that Seneca and Jesus lived in the same era. Jesus was 4 years older. Or that Seneca was the tutor of the emperor Nero. And yes, Nero went mad, but as long as Seneca was his tutor, the empire prospered!

  • If you are interested in Stoicism, here are some brilliant books:

    • 📕 Epictetus - Handbook (Not up in BookBase, because it's about 20 pages)

    • 📕 Seneca - Moral Letters (My favorite stoic book, it's up in BookBase)

    • 📕 Marcus Aurelius - Reflections (Difficult reading, but it's also in the BookBase)

    • 📕 Seneca - On the Brevity of Life (Not up in BookBase, I've only read excerpts, amazing, really!)

A few quotes from Seneca:

"But our time is not short, we waste much of it."

"Life, if used wisely, is long."

"Many people pursue ever-changing goals, but their ever-changing plans are fickle and so they are never satisfied with themselves."

"All of them hurry through life, toiling, longing for the future, hating their present circumstances. But he who devotes all his time to his own profit, and arranges each day as if it were his last, neither desires nor fears tomorrow. What, indeed, can an hour of new pleasure give him? He knows everything. He understands everything well enough."

"They lose the day in hope of the night, and lose the night in fear of the dawn."

💡 Side note: These are my favorites and I was pleased to see that Norbi the Reader's List (HUN) writer had very similar thoughts. I was also much inspired by his piece on Seneca!

✍🏼 Top quote

"Difficulty strengthens the mind, as physical work strengthens the body." ~ Seneca

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