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"If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go as a team."
So goes the old African proverb. And I wanted to go very far when I was young! 🏔
Fortunately, I came across this saying early on, so I also came to the realization early on that I needed to build a team. I just didn't know what for. How?!
As I was browsing YouTube and reading books, I realized that...
Everyone wants to tell you how to be a good leader. 🤨
Only one thing they don't tell you...
Something I only realized years later! 😪
But before we get started, let's see. 👀
🚀 How's the challenge?
🔥 The new Beta is coming
It now includes the new Streak System. It's going to the testers and if we don't find any bugs, it will be out live for you before the Roadtrip next week! 😉
I am very excited! 🤩
A little Sneak Peek: (HUN)
📝 Final touches on the new Documentary film Scripts
Geri and I are polishing up the script. Afterwards, he goes to a test reading for the people he knows. 📖
Reviews will be reviewed and rewritten where necessary. Then, if all goes well, I'll record it on video next week. 🎞
And from then on, the eyes of the world will be on Geri to see when he can edit it. But knowing Geri, we are NOT talking about months! ⏳
📲 At the cost of a nervous breakdown or two, the Webapp is Responsive
For Kokesz, it was not his favorite task, but he managed to finish it in one Dopamine Detox Day. I'm grateful that despite hating it, he did it. Because Kokesz also put the development of the team first. 🙏🏻
Now, in principle, the Webapp should be responsive on all devices. 📲
If all goes well, we'll have auto-login next week, so you'll be able to try it out.
Okay, now we can start! 🏁
💭 Why is it important to talk about this?
First, let's get clear on the most basic difference between a Boss and a Leader.
A picture is worth a thousand words! 😉
A boss who just gives orders and assigns tasks, but tries to keep himself out of work as much as possible. Typically, what you see on the streets are public worker "bosses" sitting in the shade watching 1-2 people scrabbling. 🧌
The leader, the polar opposite of this. He is the one who "fights" on the front line and does everything to make the team successful! Typical of the medieval "Warlord Kings", now that's what they were like! In the film 300, the Spartan king and his companions. ⚔️
But let's move on...
We understood in the introduction that you cannot achieve great success alone.
The writers have recognized this need. More and more people want to be leaders because they realize that "it leads to success". And because "it's cool to be the leader!" ✍🏼
For this reason, "leadership" is a topic that sees new books being published every dozen year. Where the "holy grail" is told. The new style. The perfect way to lead. 📚
The problem is that in people's minds, the leader and the boss are one and the same. It's a word that's been conflated in their little dictionary. 😵💫
If you ask someone why they read books like this or why they want to be a leader, the answer is very often this:
📈 Well, it's a way to get ahead in the company...
💰 You know, more money...
💆🏽♂️ It would be nice to let somebody else do the work...
The vast majority don't want to be a manager, they want to be a boss! Because that's cool, you can "go with it" in front of your mates. It's typical: "I'm the boss..."
I hope you won't be like that after reading this article! ❌
However, I have friends who were good at leading 1-1 groups of friends from a young age. It's like they have leadership in their blood. Then I asked myself the question:
Are some people born leaders? 🤔
And after a lot of talking, reading and researching, the answer was surprising...
Yes! ✅
People who have these skills are usually better leaders:
1. Confidence and Charisma
A leader must have enough confidence in himself and his decisions, because only then will other people trust him. If you trust yourself, it will give you Charisma. 😎
In my interpretation, Charisma is an intangible thing that attracts people around you. You could even call it charisma. 🤩
When I was little, my parents + grandparents were very involved with me. Board games, duplo, outings and adventures. These are the events that put me in newer and newer situations and because of that my confidence was formed at a young age. 💪🏼
💡 Side note: I received positive feedback when I was younger. This helped me a lot later on to have confidence in myself!
2. Communication
I have noticed that some people I know are very confident yet can't "control" more than 1-2 people. 🤨
For a long time, I did not understand why? Then one day it hit me at a house party. Where we had to decide where to go next for the evening, there were 2 options (nightclub or a sit-down bar) and the group was split into 2 camps. Then the "debate" began, with each camp trying to win the other over. But there was no way we could get from 1 to 2. 😪
One guy was very confident that the nightclub would be better and I preferred it myself, but he couldn't come up with any reason. Just that let's go will be cool, "I feel it". 😵💫
While the other guy was bombarding us with rational arguments as to why it would be more worth it to sit in the barb.
❌ There won't be a crowd
🤝 There will be people we know
⏰ Afterwards, if we really wanted to, we could go to the nightclub, etc.
He simply, brilliantly put forward arguments that no one could argue with.
That's when it struck me that self-certainty alone is not enough...
3. Problem solving
This is perhaps one of the most critical. When one encounters a problem/threat there are usually 3 things that can happen:
❄️ Freeze
🏃🏼 Fly
🥊 Fight
Only those who are in the last category can become good leaders. When you are faced with a problem, you need to immediately think of a solution! ⚒
I was a terrible problem solver until my trip to Brazil. 🇧🇷 What happened back home?
Any obstacle I hit - phone out - contacts - Mom - call! ☎️ This was the "holygrail" in my hands. So, my problem-solving skill was equal to 0 on a scale of 10. 😖
In Brazil, however, the tables were turned, there was no one else to solve it for me, so I had to manage everything myself. During those 3 months, my skill jumped from 0 to about a 7. It's because I was actively solving problems. 🎲
💡 Side note: And I was only 16 at the time. So, I was able to experience this at a relatively young age, thanks to this adventure.
A small request: if you've enjoyed today's article so far and learned something new from it, I'd be very grateful if you could send it to a friend or simply share it on social media. It would help a lot in getting more people to read my thoughts.
Thank you! 🧡
4. Emotional Intelligence & Empathy
This is what I'm not the best at. Lately I've been trying to see things from a different perspective, but I didn't used to. 👁
Since after my trip to Brazil, I always jumped into solving problems, so I expected this from everyone. I didn't understand why they were sitting on a problem. 🇧🇷
I didn't understand why they weren't stressed out...
Until I realized that they are different people in different situations. So, the best thing you can do is try to understand the other person's point of view. 🤨
Some people are better at it, some people are worse. For example, Kinga I think is a 10/10 in this category, so we complement each other very well! 👩🏽
5. Forward-looking
There's a nice word for it in English - Visionary - that's as far as it goes!
Here I mean that you have a vision of what you want to do and what you want to achieve. You can accurately shoot the size of your goal so it's not too small or too big. 🤏🏼
He's not saying I want a little beachside booth, nor is he saying I want the biggest chain restaurant, but somewhere in between. Which is still realistic, but you have to work very hard to make it achievable. 📈
And here's the key, you can see she's working really hard for it on her own! That's what will attract other people. 🔑
When OM had 400 followers, what could I give people? I had no knowledge, no experience, all they saw in me was how hard I was working for it and how fast it was growing. That was what attracted people! 🧲
They saw that something would happen here in time! 👀
6. Passionate
We'll talk more about this in the next episode. In short, it means working for your own purpose and not to please others.
She doesn't want to open a law firm because her father is pushing her to, but because it's what she dreamed of when she was little! 💭
Kalti is a very good example of this, her parents wanted her to study physiotherapy, but she had the courage to leave it behind and pursue filmmaking. After 4-5 years, he runs one of the most respected production companies in Hungary. She is the one who can work non-stop (it's not entirely healthy anymore) because she loves what she does so much! 🎥
You might be reading this and be completely blown away that you don't have those skills. ❌
But here's the good news, like everything in life. It can be improved! ✅
Let's see...
🧐 How to be a good leader?
In this small section I summaries 7 years of hard experience. And the knowledge of about 23 books. Big promise... Let's see!
I will list 10+1 things to organize this knowledge for you. After each one, I'll give you an example and recommend 1-2 books if you want to dig deeper! 🧠
1 "Learn to lead yourself first."
This is what none of the books tell you! I had to go all the way back to Plato to learn this lesson. You can only be a good leader if you can set an example for other people through your own behavior and achievements! 🏆
😊 A good leader:doesn't want to build a team immediately, but allows time to learn to manage himself. This way, you won't fall into this mistake later on when you are responsible for other people. 😈 Bad boss:"Why should I manage myself; other people will do the work for me!"
📕 Book recommendation: Plato - State, although it is very long and very little of it is about management, but the really great treasure lies here.
📕 Book Recommendation: 'The Speed of Trust' by Stephen R. Covey might be a good read on this topic. It specifically goes into how you can earn other people's trust.
2. The Golden Middle Way
It's hard to find that state of being sufficiently on good enough terms with your team, but still retaining a sense of seriousness. You need to look at your colleagues as one big family. You need to keep the team together as a whole and still look after everyone individually. 🫂
It's not an easy task. But remember, you are for the team, not the team for you!
😊 Good leader:looks for opportunities where you can help your team. Have deep conversations with your colleagues and try to get to know them. 😈 Bad boss: "What's the fun of it, they are there to work, so get back to work."
📕 Book recommendation: 'Emotional Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman is a perfect read on this topic. It's a bit long, but you can listen to a summary at BookBase.
3. You never blame others
From this one, I can tell who is the boss and who is the leader. If I ever hear you blame someone else for a problem, they are a hard boss in my eyes (I almost wrote leader by mistake, what a typo and I'm totally confused) 👀
As a leader everything is your responsibility, EVERYTHING! ‼️
Someone forgot to hand in some important paperwork - why didn't you remind them?Why didn't you tell them to look it over again? Did they buy the wrong thing? - Why didn't you check it yourself?
Listen carefully, by everything I mean EVERYTHING is your fault! That's the mentality you need to adopt. And believe me, it will not push you into a deep depression, it will just make you tougher! 💪🏼
😊 A good leader:takes responsibility, solves the problem and then analyses what went wrong. What could you do differently next time so this doesn't happen? 😈 Bad boss: "That idiot jerk has screwed up again, one more like that and I'll f*ck off."
📕 Book recommendation: 'Extreme Ownership' by Jocko Willink is a must read on this topic. Jocko was an Elite Marine who botched a deployment and 2 people died. There he had a decision to make, blame someone else and stay on or own up to his mistake and risk getting fired. He took it and his life has changed radically since then! You'll also find a summary of this in BookBase!
4. You need to create a safe environment
If your team doesn't feel safe, they won't dare to try new things and will just have a narrow mindset. It's your job to create this environment, so your staff will be brave enough to experiment and try new things. 💪🏼
"There are no mistakes, only new paths to explore." ~ Arc
😊 Good leader:Looking for ways to create that environment. He experiments himself, sometimes fails, but in doing so he leads by example. 😈 Bad boss:"I'm not a kindergarten teacher, everyone does their own thing and bring the numbers, that's all you have to do."
📕 Book recommendation: Not quite written about this, but it can help on this topic. "Drive" by Daniel H. Pink, can also help you get around this topic.
5. The power of feedback
You need to be able to give feedback to help your team improve. If they don't get feedback, it's like groping in the dark, not knowing what went well and what they should leave. ✅
Always give feedback by saying the good things first and then the things that need improvement. This way people will be open to receiving the improvable, as they have been hit by a positive influence first. 😊
And if you don't think you can say the right thing, I've given you some examples that I've used:
Very nice formatting of the text
I wanted to write exactly that many words
The colors turned out really well
I like that you didn't over-combine
Really, anything is praiseworthy! 😅
😊 Good leader:constantly giving feedback to your staff, but being careful not to bombard them with it. He doesn't want to be the tell-all, he simply wants to help them develop. And most importantly, he actively expects feedback and doesn't take offence at it. 😈 Bad boss: "You idiot I didn't tell you to do it that way, I can't believe your little brain can't even take that in."
📕 Book recommendation: the absolute king on this subject is Douglas Stone and his book "Thanks for the Feedback". Maybe we'll put that up in the BookBase at some point!
6. You need to keep improving
The world is changing at an insane pace, and you need to keep up with it. You need to be open to new things. You have to experiment. Fail. 🧪
And then share the experience with your team. A good leader isn't afraid of failure, but seeks it out because they know that's when they push themselves out of their comfort zone.
😊 Good leader:you are informed and seek new opportunities; you can test smartly with little investment of energy and capital. And you always share your experiences with your team so they can grow from them. 😈 Bad boss: “Never leave the beaten track for the beaten track..."
📕 Book Recommendation: No book addresses this topic better than "Mindset" by Carol S. Dweck. She explains exactly the difference between the Developing Mindset and the Fixed Mindset and gives practical examples to help us change it. You can also find this in BookBase.
7. You need to know where you are going
"If a man does not know which port he is sailing into, neither wind is favorable to him." ~ Seneca
You need to know the destination you're headed for and stop every now and then to review where you're going. Every year you should also review whether the goal you are heading towards is still relevant. 🧭
😊 A good leader:knows what you are moving towards and periodically reviews where you are in it. Communicate this to your team members, keeping them motivated. 😈 Bad boss: "The goal is to make more money, get the numbers and that's it."
📕 Book recommendation: an all-time classic "Start with Why" by Simon Sinek. He even had a TED Talk where he specifically covered this topic. You need to know your Why so that you can then, afterwards, move towards it. And the Why is not that I want a lot of money. Of course, it's also up at BookBase.
8. There is no shame in asking for help
Many people are afraid to ask others for help because of their ego. Meanwhile, asking for help from someone more experienced than you is like buying from them the years they spent learning that skill. 🧠
You're not throwing money away; you're buying yourself time! 💰
And that's what matters!
Now I could learn to develop an App in 2-3 years. Or I could pay Edu and Kokesz who have been doing this for years, much better than me. That bought myself 2 years + a much better App. ⏳
😊 Good leader: looking for opportunities where he can bring in help. It doesn't bruise the ego at all and you know it's taking time away from you. 😈 Bad boss: "Why pay anyone extra, there are the employees, they'll learn."
📕 Book recommendation: Laci Király (bodybuilder)'s favorite book is "Ego is the Enemy" by Ryan Holiday. I don't think this needs to be explained. It gives the basics of Stoic philosophy. It's a perfect read on this topic.
9. You are for the team not the team for you
There have been months when the guys made more than me (because there was a lot of spending) - and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm for the team's development not the team for my development. 🙏🏻
Once you understand that one little thing, it will change your perspective on Leaders.
😊 Good leader:doesn't feel humiliated that someone makes more than him. Puts the long-term development of the team first. He knows the concept of delayed gratification and applies it in his life. 😈 Bad boss:"I'm the boss, I make the most, if someone doesn't like it, the door is open."
📕 Book recommendation: Also, a Simon Sinek book "Leaders Eat Last". In other words, leaders eat last. He dissects this very topic, so if you want to dig deeper into this, this is the perfect choice.
10. The Fund
I almost forgot! The basics are that you need to work with good people, if you're interested in that, I'll write a separate post on that too. ⬇️
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Always look to see if the person fits into the company culture and only then look to see if they have the professional experience. Anyone can learn the professional stuff from the internet, but it's hard to change the personality. 🧩
A good measure might be to ask yourself the question:
"Would I like to go for coffee with him?" ☕️
If the answer is no, you're better off just leaving it there and looking further.
😊 Good manager:think several times about how the person fits into the company culture and only hire if you are 100% sure they will. He knows that 1 bad employee can ruin it all. 1 fool can make 100. 😈 Bad boss:"Do you have the work experience? You don't ask for a lot of salary? Congratulations you're hired, you start tomorrow."
There is not really a specific book here you have to feel this!
+1 The Holy Grail
Team builders, or as we call them "team builders" are mind-blowing hacks for building good culture and trust. 🤝
But not the usual Multis retreat, dinner, etc. 🍽 But Party, fun, quad biking, go-karting, etc. all that adventure. 🛵
Having adventures together, brings the team together much more, thus building trust much faster! 🏔
Team holidays are probably the best, it's no coincidence that Edu + Kokesz are coming to the current Roadtrip. 🇨🇭
Things I messed up back in the day
👥 The first is that I thought I had to manage 2 people the same way as 9.
a. It was a huge mistake, because you have to pay attention to everyone separately.
🤝 It became too friendly, so seriousness was lost.
b. We fell through the cracks and became a very good group of friends, but much less of a company.
💬 I didn't give feedback, so my colleagues couldn't develop.
c. This left them stuck at a certain level and we were very slow to progress, which was entirely my fault.
🧭 I myself did not know where we were going, we were just going.
d. If you don't have a destination, you don't know where you are going so you never get there. That's exactly what happened to us.
📚 I thought you could learn everything from books.
e. I devoured the books, but I didn't apply any of them. Plus, I realized it was all theoretical knowledge and jargon. You learn real leadership by doing.
❌ I only hired the wrong person once, but it affected the whole culture.
f. I had 1 bad hire, but the whole culture was affected. I hired someone too soon without getting to know them better. Since then, I NEVER do that. I'd rather have fewer people temporarily than have one bad person join the team.
Okay, now that I've sufficiently bombarded you with information, let's see...
✅ What exactly do you do?
[ ] First step, learn to lead yourself, habits, daily routine, etc. This will give you confidence and help you to be a good leader later on! 🗺
[ ] Step two, you need an idea and a Why. You need to have a Why that you are really passionate about, not just something that sounds good. ❓
[ ] Step three, identify where you need help. 🤔
[ ] Step four, find people you'd like to have coffee with. Hire them only if they fit into the culture. 🧩
[ ] Step five, slowly start to build your team and you lead by example. Since you are the Leader, you will be the role model. 🏆
[ ] Step six, communicate honestly with your team, as this builds trust. Whether you organize team building sessions, but not this basic escape room. 🏝
[ ] Step seven, keep giving feedback to your team so they can improve. And you should also ask for feedback from your team. 💬
[ ] Step eight, be open to new things and keep improving based on feedback. ♻️
Congratulations! 🥳
In theory, you have become a perfect leader! Now all you have to do is put it into practice and set an example for others! 😎
I hope it was useful for you. If you liked it, please send it to someone you know who you think would benefit from learning it. 📤
🔥 Challenge
The biggest CHALLENGE for me right now is to split my time again and stick to it. Reading the book "Insight" made me realize that I could be smarter about how I allocate my time. That would leave more for more important things. More time, more attention! ⏳
So, I reprioritized my tasks.
These are what I do in the company:
🚀 Marketing
⚙️ Product development
🎞 Content production
📝 Administration
In order of importance, it should be like this, it just totally hasn't been so far. It was totally messed up. I was efficient there is no arguing with that but not efficient enough. It's not about always achieving more. 🧐
It is also to achieve the same in less time and have time for the really important things (relationships, health, etc.) 🙏🏻
So here I am now, I just have to stick to it!
📖 What have I just read?
Because we have incorporated everything from the previous book on Positioning. So, I could start reading again. My choice was none other than Greg McKeown's masterpiece "Positioning". 👁
It made me realize that I was keeping myself busy with the wrong activities.
So, I have reallocated my time and am spending much more time on Marketing. I also feel a lot better since then, knowing that I am doing my best to make more young people aware of the BookBase. ☺️
I'm only halfway through, but I just love it.
The next book "Traction" by Gabriel Weinberg is already here. But I can't start it until I've put the stuff from Insight into my life.
At first, I'm very frustrated by this new rule, but I'm significantly better able to grow from it. 😉
🎧 What have I just listened to?
I was listening to an episode of Andrew Huberman's podcast on Memory and Creativity. Brutally long 2-hour 45-minute podcast, I managed to finish about a quarter of the way through. 🎧
My goal with it was to make a scientific case for why BookBase is better than other ways of self-improvement. 🧠
To be able to structure it in a way that is scientifically proven. So, if you know a professor in Hungary who is doing this kind of research, don't hesitate to let me know on Instagram!
I was again in a Philosophy class where we were talking about Plato and his Cave Theory.
It's all about people being tied down and watching shadows projected on the wall, like in a cinema. Until one person gets up and looks behind them, where they see that they are just shadows of things. He walks towards the fire and climbs out of the cave and sees the big world. 🔥
This can be perfectly applied to the "Matrix" video. 🎞
In short it shows the journey of a hero who questions things, gains wisdom and becomes enlightened.
It's brilliant to think that 2,500 years ago thinkers were writing about such problems, that it was relevant then! 💭
✍🏼 Top quote
"It's not what you preach, it's what you tolerate." ~ Jocko Willink
